The Day Before My First Medical School Lecture

This is basically an open letter to myself so bear with me. Orientation week ended on Friday and left me a bit numb. There was an immense amount of information to process regarding the island, Barbados, as well as Ross itself. We went through the entire curriculum, code of conduct, exam regulations as well as advice and lessons from previous students and professors. I had 48 hours to reset before my first lecture which is at 7:00AM tomorrow morning.

My thoughts? I wish the grocery store was still open so I could go buy a tub of ice cream. I’m still in disbelief. Also, I’m pretty scared. I want to do well and I know I am capable of doing it but worry stems from having something to lose. Fear is also motivation.

I want to remember this moment. The night before starting one of the hardest things I’ve ever taken on. I want to hold onto it because I never thought I was going to make it here. The day I do make it. The day I cross the finish line, I’m going to read this and know so much more than I do in this moment. I will have grown exponentially, beyond what I can imagine. I will have dealt with difficulties independently, changing what I am capable of taking on and giving me that much more experience.

In the meantime, I want to remember to be kind to myself. As I train to care for others in the largest capacity possible, I will remember to take care of myself. To treat myself gently, because at the end of the day I am still human. I will push myself, challenge myself and force myself to take risks. Live outside my comfort zone. And I will also seek help. Guidance. Not when I need it the most, but when I need it the least just to ensure I am doing the best I can. I will remain humble as humility is the basis of any good deed, and I will ask questions because no matter how far I get there will always be more to learn.